onlysayinghello: ([expressive] looking down upset)
He can't even begin to understand how far it reaches, or how many are already there. Looking the woman in the eyes he sees the pain in her, the sorrow that she feels because to her it's all real, to her this is life and it's crumbling around her. He's done what it took to get the answers, pushed her body to those limits, and didn't even flinch when he did it. The machine hummed and she screamed bloody terror, the sound of it still echoed a bit in his mind. A response that it was programmed to feel, a response that once it was pushed past seemed to make her less real.

She believed she was real though. She had loved, and lived and made memories that were her own. This was just another part of her, deep down beneath the surface that she wasn't supposed to know about. Hidden and tucked away because if they knew the truth, if they even thought something was off with themselves how would they even explain it? Not knowing was better, not knowing gave them time to accomplish whatever it was they were sent for. Not knowing meant that they didn't have to feel as if they were sacrificing part of themselves to some cause that wasn't even known to them.

That was how it went regardless of the end game. Sent in ahead of the folly, ahead of the onset of whatever grand plan would be put into place. He knew that all too well, the blind faith at which it was so easy to just say that you were doing it for the right reasons. Going in and seeking out the information just to save others the time and skill needed to actually act in a real situation. Making the effort for others easier -- lessened in a fashion.

In the end though it didn't seem to really matter. Not that it was all for nothing, but it did seem like an effort... an effort beyond really anything he'd thought to count on. This was a long process, seeding the population alone was a task, but making it believable? Jack was astounded and borderline impressed for a moment, until he realized what it all meant. There were people out there willing to go to that much trouble just to bring that sort of destruction to the world. It was startling to think of, and the more Jack let it sink into his mind the more it took hold of his thoughts.

Who else was out there? Waiting? Watching? What other plan had been put into action, how much information had they all been able to gather, and to what purpose? The questions hung around his neck and they wouldn't leave him easily. In a sense he could feel sympathy for the woman, even as she forced their hand, even as she made Jack take that final step... as he watched her fall at the gunshots that met her threat to someone important to him.

It was how it was going to be. More than one life taken, more than one choice made... and still even as he offered a hand to Gwen, seated beside the body he knew she wouldn't take it. Leaving the Hub left a pang of guilt as he knew Ianto was there cleaning up the mess, but he knew that staying there wasn't going to help ease anything. It was one thing to make a choice that ended a life because the danger was clear, proved right before his eyes... it was another when it was forced upon him. If it had been him... if he had been sent for some other reason, to retrieve intel, to betray the ones he had loved... he would've done the same.

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onlysayinghello

August 2010

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