Adam wanted to say things that he didn't trust anyone, not with anything, and most certainly not with the truth of himself, all the pieces he kept locked in. Except Jack had told him things, things he apparently hadn't told his own team.
"I don't want to placate you." Well, possibly that would be nice, temporarily. "As you said before...we have time. But if you need to know, and I cannot tell you, then I cannot expect you to keep offering..." His fingers tightened again on Jack's hand. "You came. You found me, and you got me out of there. I am not completely convinced Hiro would have let me out before I had lost all reason. I owe you my life, or at least my sanity." What there was of it. "Every time I think of that..."
He broke off, a faint tremble running through him. "I have never liked confined spaces. After that...to thrust me in there, into that...And you got me out. I don't trust easily. Everyone I have ever trusted with anything of myself has turned on me, left me alone, thrown me aside. But I...you didn't leave me there. It's not something I want to talk about, but not because I am ashamed. And I think, perhaps, you will hate me a bit for that. And I find that I cannot stand the thought of that."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2007-12-07 07:30 am (UTC)"I don't want to placate you." Well, possibly that would be nice, temporarily. "As you said before...we have time. But if you need to know, and I cannot tell you, then I cannot expect you to keep offering..." His fingers tightened again on Jack's hand. "You came. You found me, and you got me out of there. I am not completely convinced Hiro would have let me out before I had lost all reason. I owe you my life, or at least my sanity." What there was of it. "Every time I think of that..."
He broke off, a faint tremble running through him. "I have never liked confined spaces. After that...to thrust me in there, into that...And you got me out. I don't trust easily. Everyone I have ever trusted with anything of myself has turned on me, left me alone, thrown me aside. But I...you didn't leave me there. It's not something I want to talk about, but not because I am ashamed. And I think, perhaps, you will hate me a bit for that. And I find that I cannot stand the thought of that."