In his lifetime he'd known of the events that changed the world, heard the legends, read the archives... even visited a few of them during training. All the agents being sent out to maintain, to protect their way of life. The human race had come so far in so many years and now that time travel was allowed, the smallest change could create a maelstrom of events. So the Time Agency was enacted and everything that fell out of line was tracked and recorded. It was why Jack knew that at the core of it all the big stuff was happening now.
The big stuff apparently was happening at the hands of the man he'd shared a bed with. All the talk of changing the world and this was it, this was the plan. To simply start again, anew, and Jack wasn't even sure what to think. His past had the events of Kirby Plaza.... the bomb... the destruction, but it also had records of it not happening. Even the Time Agency had archive upon archive of alternate timelines, ones that had transpired or had shifted off. Always keeping track of how things could have gone... just in case the timelines met up again.
When the date came for Kirby Plaza Jack was ready, but the event had changed. Jack wasn't a Time Agent anymore, and for all he knew the fifty-first century was forever changed by that. For all Jack knew his entire history had shifted off the books he'd studied at the Agency. Not that it mattered to him because he was still there, still existing apart from it all.
An impossible thing, words that echoed in his mind all too clearly, all too often. Now he was faced with a truth that he knew all too well... Adam had intended on the destruction, and even in Jack's own memory the events were still hazy. Whether they had happened with Kirby Plaza... or apart from, or even at all, and he was more confused than he wanted to be.
He also knew he was becoming too reliant on things that could have changed. The rift changed it. Kirby Plaza changed it, and now Odessa had changed it. Constantly, always, never ending things weren't happening the way they were supposed to and maybe that was the way it was supposed to be.
Jack didn't move from Adam, he didn't drop his hand from his neck, or the other from the tight grip that was still there.
"Everything changes..." it was the only constant thought he had in his mind, the only thing repeating over and over again, "I thought I knew what I was getting myself into. I'd save the world, I knew the events, the way things were supposed to happen and then... everything started to change. Little things, like... well big things actually, right now," Jack met Adam's eyes, "Right now running right under Cardiff there's a temporal rift. Time... just seeps out of it, all the timelines fighting for space in there, and it just changes everything."
He wasn't even sure he had a point, or even if his thoughts were coming around to anywhere cohesive, "I can't stop it all, I can't fix any of it until it's right there... right on that edge, and I knew about Odessa... and I wasn't there to stop it. Because everything changes. There isn't a constant in my lifetime anymore."
His hand slide from the back of Adam's neck to against his jaw, "Even you... it's changed. It's honest, and it's real- raw to the point where it hurts, because if you had the choice- if you could go back and change it, you'd do it."
Jack exhaled, a half smile of assurance there, "You'd have done it and one of a thousand things that eats away at this existence would have happened... at your hands. And I'm standing here trying to reconcile it in my mind, trying to put it into something that doesn't sound like it goes against every fiber of my being...."
The pause is ripping at his heart because he can't seem to make it right... he can't fix it.
"Because it does. It goes against it all, but everything changes. That's the one constant I have is that at some point there's going to be a change and it'll happen again, and again... until the timeline I know actually sifts itself out of the sieve, and we'll be left with the one timeline... the one future, and a thousand pasts."
Shutting his eyes he kept his hand to Adam's jawline, needing to touch, to feel something just to ground him to the moment, "Everything changed... and I don't think I was ready for it this time."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2007-12-07 08:44 am (UTC)The big stuff apparently was happening at the hands of the man he'd shared a bed with. All the talk of changing the world and this was it, this was the plan. To simply start again, anew, and Jack wasn't even sure what to think. His past had the events of Kirby Plaza.... the bomb... the destruction, but it also had records of it not happening. Even the Time Agency had archive upon archive of alternate timelines, ones that had transpired or had shifted off. Always keeping track of how things could have gone... just in case the timelines met up again.
When the date came for Kirby Plaza Jack was ready, but the event had changed. Jack wasn't a Time Agent anymore, and for all he knew the fifty-first century was forever changed by that. For all Jack knew his entire history had shifted off the books he'd studied at the Agency. Not that it mattered to him because he was still there, still existing apart from it all.
An impossible thing, words that echoed in his mind all too clearly, all too often. Now he was faced with a truth that he knew all too well... Adam had intended on the destruction, and even in Jack's own memory the events were still hazy. Whether they had happened with Kirby Plaza... or apart from, or even at all, and he was more confused than he wanted to be.
He also knew he was becoming too reliant on things that could have changed. The rift changed it. Kirby Plaza changed it, and now Odessa had changed it. Constantly, always, never ending things weren't happening the way they were supposed to and maybe that was the way it was supposed to be.
Jack didn't move from Adam, he didn't drop his hand from his neck, or the other from the tight grip that was still there.
"Everything changes..." it was the only constant thought he had in his mind, the only thing repeating over and over again, "I thought I knew what I was getting myself into. I'd save the world, I knew the events, the way things were supposed to happen and then... everything started to change. Little things, like... well big things actually, right now," Jack met Adam's eyes, "Right now running right under Cardiff there's a temporal rift. Time... just seeps out of it, all the timelines fighting for space in there, and it just changes everything."
He wasn't even sure he had a point, or even if his thoughts were coming around to anywhere cohesive, "I can't stop it all, I can't fix any of it until it's right there... right on that edge, and I knew about Odessa... and I wasn't there to stop it. Because everything changes. There isn't a constant in my lifetime anymore."
His hand slide from the back of Adam's neck to against his jaw, "Even you... it's changed. It's honest, and it's real- raw to the point where it hurts, because if you had the choice- if you could go back and change it, you'd do it."
Jack exhaled, a half smile of assurance there, "You'd have done it and one of a thousand things that eats away at this existence would have happened... at your hands. And I'm standing here trying to reconcile it in my mind, trying to put it into something that doesn't sound like it goes against every fiber of my being...."
The pause is ripping at his heart because he can't seem to make it right... he can't fix it.
"Because it does. It goes against it all, but everything changes. That's the one constant I have is that at some point there's going to be a change and it'll happen again, and again... until the timeline I know actually sifts itself out of the sieve, and we'll be left with the one timeline... the one future, and a thousand pasts."
Shutting his eyes he kept his hand to Adam's jawline, needing to touch, to feel something just to ground him to the moment, "Everything changed... and I don't think I was ready for it this time."