Jun. 24th, 2008

onlysayinghello: ([emote] armporn for reinette)
- I smell this way naturally
- I always come back
- I'm one of a kind
- Ianto makes the best coffee
- Rhys can hold his ale (for a while)
- Gwen made a beautiful bride
- Toshiko has great legs
- Owen doesn't annoy me all the time
- If you live in the Cardiff area despite best efforts you've heard of Torchwood
- If you think I look familiar to you, I just might be
- I'm older than I look
- I look amazing for my age
onlysayinghello: ([expressive] smile half laugh)
"So tell me Jack Hark-"

"Captain Jack Harkness," he cuts in with the impish grin beaming brightly back at the man in the suit and tie with the microphone.

"Very well then, Captain Jack Harkness, tell me just what do you do for fun?"

"For fun? Oh... I guess you could say I save the world... you know, 'for fun', " is his reply. Still with that grin of near perfection and the slight cocky glow about him that even those all the way in the back row don't have a single doubt in.

"Saving the world? Well that has to get tiresome I'm sure. Seems every time we turn around something or another is happening, that ATMOS fiasco I'm sure no one saw coming. Did you have anything to do with the fire in the sky?"

The grin fades for a moment, nearly a slight narrow of his eyes as he shakes his head, "Unfortunately that little... well I say little because clearly it was seen from space, but still that display was no doubt the work of a friend of mine, The Doctor."

"So one might say that He saves the world for fun as well."

"You might say that."

"Well then Jac- Captain Jack Harkness, get ready for today because this is..." the dramatic build up is great. Really Jack is back to grinning as the man in the suit gestures to the live studio audience and gets them all to chant.


"That's right, and today Ja-Captain Jack Harkness, your job should you accept it is to save the world... with this ball of string, a hair pin and the lovely assistance of Miss Loretta Lynn!"

Lorette Lynn comes out from backstage waving to a crowd that once more is on their feet. Jack just shakes his head standing up from his stool and shaking Loretta's hand and kissing the back of it as well. A lovely chorus of 'ooooh' comes from the crowd and Jack simply waves them off.

"Oh there's one more catch... you have... ONE HOUR!!!"

The climactic drumroll is great, the cymbal crash though killed it for Jack.

"Can we see... THE CLOCK please!"

On the far wall the curtains pull back and the clock face is there, numbers and all but no hands.

"It's a clock with no hands!" declares Loretta Lynn.

"That's right. A clock with no hands. An impossible thing you might say... right Captain Jack Harkness?"

Captain Jack is stunned into silence for a moment, but when a secondary clock drops down in front of it with the digital display reading out with sixty minutes he's back on track.

"Jack, sweetheart tell me you gotta plan, cause all I'm seein' is a bunch a'nonsense not even MacGuyver could work with."

"MacGuyver was a tool," Jack teases before turning to the host of the show, "I'm sorry but what's the crisis? I mean you said save the world, but no one told me what exactly the problem is."

The host just shrugs his shoulders, "You should be able to figure it out, right?"

"Not in an hour!"

"Aren't you Torchwood though Sweetie, can't you just figure it out?"

"Loretta how do you know about Torchwood? You're not even from Cardiff?"

"Well I'm no Coal Miner's Daughter either, but I still got my way of finding things out."

Shaking his head at that Jack moves toward the ball of string and hair pin trying to see if there is something different about it. Of course it's too late and the buzzer sounds.

"What? There is no way that was an hour!"

"Oh I'm sorry, did we forget to tell you? We're on Vortex Time. It's been five days! We gave you a head start?"

"So did I not save the world?"


Jack turns around placing his hand above his eyes to look at the Judges from behind the bright lights.

"We'd like the Captain to pull a Listen. Listen. for our final call... with Miss Loretta Lynn."

Jack's body twisted around to face Loretta who simply shrugged at him, "I'm not even sure what a Listen. Listen. is to be honest."

Jack returned to the judges, "Fine I'll do the Listen. Listen, but I want to know will this affect my final results?"

"This is the tie-breaker Captain."

"Wait... I tied?? With who???"

The second wall spun around and there was The Doctor with his ball string wired all over the stage, the hair pin skating down on some sort of molecular forcefield with Shania Twain perched on his lap.

"Oh he got Shania? Who said you could use molecular forcefields???"

The Doctor winked and the stage turned back around again. "Fine! Loretta come here, I'm going to say a word... I want you to repeat it back to me. Whatever happens I need you to just go along with it.. Ready?"

Loretta nodded, standing right before the Captain.







"Listen..." Jack repeated before he leaned in and snogged Loretta. She went with it. Of course, and she went for it.

Pulling back from her his arms still around her Jack turned to the judges, "So?"

"We're sorry we were looking for the word... Chicken. The win goes to The Doctor!"

Jack quirks an eyebrow, "You asked for Listen. Listen, that was Listen. Listen!"

"Well... now Jack, no need to get angry," the Doctor replied as he came from backstage to congratulate well... himself on the win. "You always knew I'd save the world in the knick of time!"

"But... I don't understand!"

"Right, right... here, Listen."



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August 2010


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