Jack kept his gaze to Adam's, watching him fight his own well being in a sense to try and explain the struggle, a struggle that Jack knew almost all too well. Faced against greater odds, greater men and yet Jack knew how easily it all could falter if trust was lost. He knew he was asking too much, to ask a man who'd just been a victim of what Jack had seen for trust was no doubt a daunting thing for Adam, and Jack wanted that trust so much, but he was certain that it was something he was still in the process of earning. No bond of intimacy could stretch as far as the trust Jack was asking for, and he knew that.
The fear in Adam's words, the waver in his tone ever so slight put a grip around his heart, because if these questions had answers that made Adam think that there would be hate left when the cards were laid out, then he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answers at all. It would be far simpler to just ignore it all, to just not give questions that had answers that could hurt. He did the same to his own team, denied them the truth to protect them from the distrust.
This felt so different to him though, and the things he knew, had come too close to things that Hiro had mentioned, that not asking, not knowing if the events from history were Adam's... it was slowly pulling him apart.
Jack let his free hand move to the nape of Adam's neck, a light touch to the short hairs that teased to fingertips if Jack would let them. It was meant for comfort, to give him solace in the silence that was growing between them.
"I'm sorry you went through that, I'm sorry that trust is hard for you to give, I can understand that I'm asking a lot of you, and know that I can understand also why you have such a fear of the truth finding it's way to me, but I would rather hear it from you, than from someone else."
Jack let his forehead press lightly to Adam's for a moment before a soft kiss brushed to Adam's lips, drawing back Jack met his eyes, "I know what was supposed to happen in Odessa, I know that two timelines were struggling with each other since the events of Kirby Plaza, because there were two archive records of the events. I can't stop them... I can't even tell people what they can do Adam, I just prepare myself for the worst... and the worst didn't happen, but you were there."
Jack sighed, "In New York, I gave you the coin, for good luck. I lied, I was worried about you, concerned that you'd end up in some sort of trouble with your hiding, and your trips to places? It's tagged, registered with the Torchwood databases to me. Wherever I was with that coin, the data base could run a scan and know where I was. When you had it... you were in Odessa, and then... then you were in Japan. I knew in that moment, that something had gone wrong... or right, but I knew that you were in Japan, and your elevation reading... wasn't right. So I came for you, because I couldn't just not know."
His thumb rolled gently against Adam's neck for a moment, "And now it's tearing at me that I don't know if you were there to start... or stop what might have happened in Odessa. Before the other day though, I didn't even realize any of it was connected, so please don't think that I knew this in New York..."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-12-07 07:46 am (UTC)The fear in Adam's words, the waver in his tone ever so slight put a grip around his heart, because if these questions had answers that made Adam think that there would be hate left when the cards were laid out, then he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answers at all. It would be far simpler to just ignore it all, to just not give questions that had answers that could hurt. He did the same to his own team, denied them the truth to protect them from the distrust.
This felt so different to him though, and the things he knew, had come too close to things that Hiro had mentioned, that not asking, not knowing if the events from history were Adam's... it was slowly pulling him apart.
Jack let his free hand move to the nape of Adam's neck, a light touch to the short hairs that teased to fingertips if Jack would let them. It was meant for comfort, to give him solace in the silence that was growing between them.
"I'm sorry you went through that, I'm sorry that trust is hard for you to give, I can understand that I'm asking a lot of you, and know that I can understand also why you have such a fear of the truth finding it's way to me, but I would rather hear it from you, than from someone else."
Jack let his forehead press lightly to Adam's for a moment before a soft kiss brushed to Adam's lips, drawing back Jack met his eyes, "I know what was supposed to happen in Odessa, I know that two timelines were struggling with each other since the events of Kirby Plaza, because there were two archive records of the events. I can't stop them... I can't even tell people what they can do Adam, I just prepare myself for the worst... and the worst didn't happen, but you were there."
Jack sighed, "In New York, I gave you the coin, for good luck. I lied, I was worried about you, concerned that you'd end up in some sort of trouble with your hiding, and your trips to places? It's tagged, registered with the Torchwood databases to me. Wherever I was with that coin, the data base could run a scan and know where I was. When you had it... you were in Odessa, and then... then you were in Japan. I knew in that moment, that something had gone wrong... or right, but I knew that you were in Japan, and your elevation reading... wasn't right. So I came for you, because I couldn't just not know."
His thumb rolled gently against Adam's neck for a moment, "And now it's tearing at me that I don't know if you were there to start... or stop what might have happened in Odessa. Before the other day though, I didn't even realize any of it was connected, so please don't think that I knew this in New York..."