For some reason or another the silence that befell them was actually comforting for once. It wasn't the stifled stale air shoved between them, instead it felt like a lull between all the unsaid and unanswered. It was the feeling of Adam's head resting against Jack's chest, rising and falling with each breath that gave him comfort, some sort of peace of mind that it could be just so simple to let it all slip away for the moment. Jack's life was full of trust issues, of questions he didn't dare answer for those that asked, and he almost wanted to rationalize it away that way, that he didn't need to know.
Deep down though he knew he did, maybe not needing to know, but wanting to know and it was something he wanted to understand at the very least. To see how a single man could think the world was that doomed that something that drastic would actually fix it. Still it was too much to think about, so Jack just let himself focus on the slight damn hair at the back of Adam's neck, and the steady breathing that came from Adam.
Then the words that Jack hadn't expected at all, and it sliced through him, because he knew the darkness... he knew the thought of never getting out of the black... and he knew more than ever that he didn't belong in there. Jack let his fingers lightly curve in against the nape of Adam's neck, trying to ease tension and still remind him that he wasn't there, he wasn't in the dark... he wasn't in the ground anymore.
His mouth pressed atop Adam's head, soft words murmured into the blond hair that still smelled like Jack's shampoo, "It's still fresh in your mind, I know that... it's why you don't sleep, it's why you need the windows open, I know that closure... I know the darkness and I want to say it'll get better... but I can't say that for sure. I can say that I'm here for you, and I won't let you feel like you're back there."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-12-11 12:21 am (UTC)Deep down though he knew he did, maybe not needing to know, but wanting to know and it was something he wanted to understand at the very least. To see how a single man could think the world was that doomed that something that drastic would actually fix it. Still it was too much to think about, so Jack just let himself focus on the slight damn hair at the back of Adam's neck, and the steady breathing that came from Adam.
Then the words that Jack hadn't expected at all, and it sliced through him, because he knew the darkness... he knew the thought of never getting out of the black... and he knew more than ever that he didn't belong in there. Jack let his fingers lightly curve in against the nape of Adam's neck, trying to ease tension and still remind him that he wasn't there, he wasn't in the dark... he wasn't in the ground anymore.
His mouth pressed atop Adam's head, soft words murmured into the blond hair that still smelled like Jack's shampoo, "It's still fresh in your mind, I know that... it's why you don't sleep, it's why you need the windows open, I know that closure... I know the darkness and I want to say it'll get better... but I can't say that for sure. I can say that I'm here for you, and I won't let you feel like you're back there."