[Cardiff] New Years Eve

[onlysayinghello]

London had been a good break, for Jack and for Adam. Of course there was still a lot to be said for not exactly dealing with the issues at hand still, but Jack wasn't actually overly concerned about the past for the moment. He knew truthfully too well how it felt to be judged by prior actions, and he thought that if they could just move forward into the new year and deal with things as they came up, face each issue as it actually impacted their lives it might work for their benefit. It wasn't that Jack didn't trust Adam either, in fact due to the holidays and everything that they had spoken of Jack had more trust in Adam than he had before, and it was that exact sentiment that allowed him to continue hoping that he wasn't making a huge err in judgement.

He'd spend his days and sometimes nights at Torchwood, trying to still regain the trust of his people after he'd left them not just the once when he spent a year away that no one else remembered, but recently too. Off to Japan without much warning, a week around the holiday to London. Of course the holiday wasn't minded by the rest of them, but still he knew that given everything that had been going on for them, he was asking a lot in faith from them.

Thankfully New Years Eve was a night that Jack had already assured everyone they could take off early. In fact the case they'd been working on was wrapped up by a little after three in the afternoon and after two hours of them mostly bouncing their knees in anticipation to leave Jack just let them go.

Often there had been moments more recently where Jack had to wonder what Adam did all day. He knew the flat wasn't exactly the best place to spend all his time, and he hoped that he got out, and tried to see Cardiff, to see people the way Jack now saw them, that it wasn't entirely hopeless, and that there was a lot of redemption going on... not just in Jack himself.

Putting his coat on once more Jack headed out the doors of the Tourism shop and took the short drive from the Hub to his flat and shut the door behind him. His keys were placed on the hook near the door and he kept his jacket on as he moved through the flat, "Hey... did we have plans for tonight? Cause I've got an idea."

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Adam had definitely taken to wandering the city and the surrounding countryside when Jack was at work. He'd gotten his funds from Hsu and bought a car, and spent most days either driving or walking, just relearning the geography. Whether he was looking for redemption of humanity, or just enjoying the fresh air, he kept quiet, even to himself.

But staying anywhere with four walls for too long was out of the question at the moment. He was careful to get back home before Jack, though, most days. Or leave a note if he wasn't going to be. The day he let himself get lost in memories in London just...stuck with him.

So tonight he was curled up on the sofa, reading The DaVinci Code rather skeptically, but unable to quite put it down. He glanced up at the sound of Jack's entrance, though, smiling bright as he came into view.

"I don't think we'd planned anything in particular. What's your idea?"

[onlysayinghello.livejournal.com]

The thought had been building up over the past few days, the notion that he was going to be starting a new year, and for the first time in a long time he actually had someone that he thought he could still be with at the end of that year, and even further down the line than that. There had been brief mentions of the discussion neither of them wanted to face, and Jack knew from the trip to Japan that it wasn't something to push aside, but that it was something that truly there was no real way to bring the topic up.

Crossing over to the couch Jack leaned over the edge taking a look at the book Adam was reading and smirking, "Should I tell you they made a film out of it?"

Shaking the comment off he met Adam's eyes and knew that the choice he made on the way home was the right one, "I want to show you something."

It was his only solution to the problem that seemed to be carrying with both of them, the unsaid. Starting a new year with the unsaid still there beneath the surface wasn't something Jack wanted.

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"I saw it in the rental place," Adam said with a bit of a smile. "But I've always figured I should read books first. I don't like the ending to be spoiled the way the author intended it to be."

He tilted his head and studied Jack for a moment, eyes going serious as he took in the look in Jack's eyes. Brushing his fingers lightly against the back of the couch, near Jack's arm without quite touching yet, he nodded, trying to brace for anything that came that wasn't pleasant, while hoping he wanted to show him something amazing.

"All right. Where?"

[onlysayinghello.livejournal.com]

The remark about seeing it at the video place tugged a smile for Jack as he leaned in bit more onto the back of the couch, letting that slight gap between Adam's touch and Jack's arms close casually. The tone hiding a bit of caution in Adam's reply and Jack shifted to place a kiss a top his head, "Don't worry so much."

Pulling back Jack stood up scratching at the back of his head, "I just thought no one's at the office now, and I'd like to show you where I work. Of course if you'd rather stay in? I'm all for that as well."

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Worrying was second nature, Adam wanted to argue, after so long, but Jack's offer paused the words and he looked up, face brightening.

"You want to show me Torchwood?" All the stories, all the things Jack said he did--so much of it was beyond Adam's comprehension, really. Nothing he knew, nothing he'd even imagined existed out there, even with what he knew of people here on Earth and abilities. "I would love to see it," he said, utterly sincere.

[onlysayinghello.livejournal.com]

Jack leaned down back to resting his forearms against the couch, meeting Adam's eyes, "Well I figure it's worth at least a look around. I mean they were still sort of upset with me the past what month? At least a month, and I finally think that it's all behind us at work, and they're all out having other lives too so why not bring a bit of my life to work. Plus it's pretty cool."

At Adam's reply he grinned, "Alright then let's go." Giving Adam a kiss atop his head as he stood back up and went back to grab his jacket he shrugged it on and shoved his hands in his pockets waiting for Adam to join him.

[changehistory.livejournal.com]

Adam stood eagerly, following Jack and grabbing his jacket, slipping into it with a smile. "Couldn't they understand about the Doctor--about everything that happened? It doesn't seem fair..." He trailed off, considered with a frown. "All right, I might be a bit cross, too, if you went running to explore the universe without me."

[onlysayinghello.livejournal.com]

"Maybe I just haven't really explained everything to them yet?" He glanced to Adam, "It's mostly pretty..." searching for a word he realized he couldn't sort one out really. "Impossible? Besides I didn't go off to explore the universe I went for answers. They just don't realize that. It's hard to explain that a few hundred million years in the future I died, and came back because of a blonde girl from the Powell Estate?"

Laughing he opened the front door to the flat, "I mean seriously if you weren't you? Would you have believed me when I first told you in New York?"

[changehistory.livejournal.com]

"If I were just some guy off the street, no, probably not," Adam admitted, following Jack outside, huddling down into his coat. "But they aren't just guys from off the street. They work with you. They saw that...Abbadon or whatever his name was. They've seen so much more. Seen you die and come back."

He shook his head, giving Jack a confused look. "Why can't you just tell them?"

[onlysayinghello.livejournal.com]

Jack had often thought about telling his team everything, but the only thing with starting that sort of conversation is that you needed to have all the answers to all the questions, and Jack didn't have that. There were gaps and holes in his memory, things he wanted to remember but couldn't, and things he needed to forget and tried every day to do so.

"It's not for them to know," Jack replied nearly to the sidewalk as his eyes cast downward for the moment. It was a crisp night and he figured the walk would be good and it wasn't as if he lived too far from the Hub as it was.

"The things I've seen, the places I've been... it's one thing to think that it all comes here, that the rift lets the small things slip into our lives... it's another to realize your boss won't be born for another few thousand years, and that he's not even human. I mean I look the part Adam, but you know as well as I do that I'm not like the rest of them. I tell them every day we're protecting mankind, saving the human race... from the outside and here I am. I am the outside."

[changehistory.livejournal.com]

Adam frowned a bit, thinking, mulling over Jack's words as they walked. He'd gone a long time, lifetimes even, without telling people his secrets. Others he'd told almost immediately, trusting them, believing they would accept. Some had. Some hadn't. Jack had, after all, and the words had come out when he'd barely had a notion of what he was saying to whom. Angela. Angelica. But there was Helene to balance them. His father. All those who hadn't been able to accept.

"I would think your perspective would be something they'd welcome in this fight," he said, quiet, not argumentative, but truly trying to understand. "When you're bound in a common fight against things almost no one else could believe..." He trailed off, a flash of pain running through him at that memory, the thought, the chances he'd had and thrown away.

[onlysayinghello.livejournal.com]

Jack nodded, his hands in the pockets of his coat, trying to figure out how to even word how he thought he felt about most of it. It hadn't ever been easy watching how he built up that first team with Torchwood only to have them all falter in the end. That sort of hardship came with trust... with letting them in, and he wasn't sure he had it in him to risk it all again.

Taking his hand out of his pocket he reached for Adam's hand, lacing it into his own, "I think my perspective just might be too broad to be honest. I see the big picture, and right now they all want to focus on what's happening now. It's never an easy balance, but I do try at least to fill in the gap."

Coming up to the lift Jack paused, "So do you want to go in the front door, or the back door." His question could've had a different tone to it, but he was trying to go for a serious question. They were standing on the lift at the moment, "Because... the block of cement under our feet would be the back door."

[changehistory.livejournal.com]

His fingers wound back around Jack's light and easily, pressing them together. "They likely want to know you trust them, that you...believe they can handle whatever they think you're hiding."

Adam glanced down at the concrete beneath them, then back up at Jack. "This is a door?" he asked, arching one eyebrow, almost unsure if Jack was teasing him a bit.

[onlysayinghello.livejournal.com]

Understanding what Adam meant he knew that he'd have to explain it eventually, but his team knowing he couldn't die had put a bit of an odd air to it the first time and so far... things were still settling from his return. He'd found out that there was no fixing him, and being a fixed point in time now felt different to him. It wasn't easy explaining that to anyone.

The smirk that crossed Jack's features was pretty broad when Adam asked about the lift. "Technically it's a lift. People walk by it all day without actually realizing it's here. They slip in and out of the perception filter without really knowing. It's sort of builds a wall around it that shields us from the world. They sort of... walk around it without even noticing. Right now, we've just disappeared from sight."

Jack's eyes met Adam's for a moment before he leaned forward brushing his mouth to his softly claiming his mouth for a moment with a kiss. Parting from his kiss he let his words murmur against Adam's lips, "No one saw that, just you and me."

[changehistory.livejournal.com]

Adam looked around, looking at everyone who was passing by and finding it hard to believe that no one could see them. They weren't looking, that was true, but it was a disconcerting thought, akin to Peter's invisibility in a way, and he wasn't sure what to think. On the other hand, the kiss was nice--more than nice--and the idea of the two of them there, unseen.

Well, it was a great deal like they usually were, in some ways, drifting through time without being seen anymore than they were seen now. It gave a slightly sad tone to his smile, as he kissed Jack back gently. "Well, then, why don't we go in this way?"

[onlysayinghello.livejournal.com]

Letting his hand brush into Adam's hair at the return of the kiss Jack smiled before pulling his hand back to his wrist strap and flipping it open to reveal all the things that he wished actually still worked. At least the lift relay worked.

Pressing the button he felt the ground stir for a moment then the lift descended down into the Hub. Letting his one arm hold Adam around the waist Jack smirked, "Normally I go in the front. It's the old tourism shop, with a hidden entrance back where the stock room is."

As the concrete lift moved down the entire scope of the Hub was easily seen, and even Jack took a moment to glance around. Mostly looking for Myfanwy, because explaining the flying dinosaur... might be something for the second trip in.

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"How very dull, comparatively," Adam teased with a slight smile, and then he fell silent as they descended. His eyes were sharp, looking around the Hub, at how large it was and all that was there, things he had no idea about, could not even begin to imagine.

His gaze flicked over the computers, the work stations the bits of technology everywhere that were unlike anything he'd ever seen. He knew, in theory, what Jack did, but this still felt like something out of a science fiction movie. Funny what struck you, even when you were what he was, the things that took you by surprise.

"This is..." Words failed him, and he shook his head.

[onlysayinghello.livejournal.com]

Trying to hide just how much Jack loved watching someone enter the Hub for the first time Jack brought his hand back to Adam's letting it press into it once more as the descent finished and he stepped off the platform. He knew it would take some getting used to, it had for even him and he'd been there for a while now.

"I started with odd jobs. I had a long time to wait for an answer to what exactly I was. I knew I couldn't die by then... stuck in the past with nothing to do sort of situation. Torchwood then was run by a different group. A rather... inquisitive set of women."

Giving Adam the time he needed he continued, figuring that his grip to Adam's hand wasn't demanding, just for reassurance, and should he want to wander he'd be more than welcome to.

"Eventually it became a well known fact that I was something of an asset. They'd send me out, I'd do the job and come back each time. Eventually I was the longest surviving member, if I could have even considered it surviving back then. They offered me a more permanent position. I took it. I still had no answers to how I was the way I was, or if there was even a way to fix it. So I became Torchwood."

Glancing out over it all, Jack sighed, "But really... this is Torchwood. The Hub of it all, work stations, the lounge, my office..." Jack's voice trailed as he caught that look in Adam's eyes once more, "If it's too much I'll stop talking and let it sink in."

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"So you've worked for them...done this for all this time? It's not just something new?" he asked, glancing at him with a curious glance again. He just looked around the Hub for a few moments before extricating his hand from Jack's to wander slowly along the pathways that wound through all of the different items, tables and desks.

It was all a bit too much, to step from hearing to knowing, but he didn't want Jack to stop talking, because he needed words to make sense of the things he was seeing that he himself had no words for.

"What sort of jobs?" he finally asked. "Missions?"