[EcM] 04.08 - Torn

[onlysayinghello]

It's long nights spent in the Hub. Far too long, far too often and he's almost sure that by now someone would've said something to him. No one does though. The low murmur of voices behind him is barely audible now. The quiet dulcet tones are near silence these days. He knows what they should say about him. Knows that when he watches the footage again and again... exactly what they should say.

They should blame him.

Blame him for being too damn cocky.

Blame him for not doing what it actually took the one time it could've mattered.

Blame him for letting them down.

Blame him for failing them.

They should say it.

They should grab the lapels of his coat and tell him that he was a damn fool and that there has to be a way to fix it. That the man laying suspended in the vaults is the one way he could've stopped it all from happening but he hesitated. Worse than that... he'd forgiven him. He'd looked his brother in the eye and gave him a second chance. Despite buried alive, despite the chaos and destruction and countless lives lost... he allowed it to continue when he could've simply put an end to it all.

Even now though staring at the footage wishing someone would lay the blame on him he can't even bear to think if he would've been able to do it. He wants to believe that all his talk about being the one that can make the choices no one else would dare make isn't just talk.

But he's been tearing himself up over it for weeks now... and he's almost positive that the pieces might never fit back together if he doesn't stop trying to find the answer to why he couldn't do it when they needed him to.

Comments

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Forgiving is harder, Jack. It's better to forgive. It is.